What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 01:11
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
So, i spoilt her more .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Does the Lil Wayne song ‘Lollipop’ refers to a Lollipop sweet or a metaphor?
Im dying but, im not bitter.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Comes on , in middle age.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
How was your JEE 2024 result like?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
One cannot live in the past .
I think the readers, may guess!
Do women really cheat more than men?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Is the Shia claim true that Imam Ali was born inside the Kaaba?
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I could never make a relationship work though!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
How do you get people to follow your Quora Space?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
He knew the spot.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Is the 4B movement's aggressiveness against men for seeing women as mantelpieces valid?
I was scared of men, in general
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I will be 64.
Why are Trump's and Khan's experiences with authorities in the US and Pakistan similar?
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I was seconnd youngest,
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Why was Boromir corrupted by the One Ring, but not Faramir in The Lord of the Rings?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
She wouldn,t have been !
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Who then, do I blame.?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Ive learnt so much.
I said to her
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
She was in good health!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
My life is so biszare .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
As i do to all so called friends.?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I was very sick at this time too.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
She found it foreign!.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
This is soul school!.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Would this be the day?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But, we were locked up after school.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Im still living with it.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Was to survive, this bastard.
So whats the point in blame.
But it wasn’t much.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
My family never makes their pension either.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
It was going to be , some day.
I waited trembling.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I couldn’t, believe it.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
All the time i was locked up.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
The only rule us 5 kids had .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I was 9 years of age.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
When she asked me how she looked .
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
(And it was in our own minds.)
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
She loved him until the end.
Put me off passion for life!!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And i lived it daily.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
What did i know ?
We were not on the streets..
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Why did i forgive my father ?
I have no regrets .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
She married twice! .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I don,t even have a pension.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I write beautiful poetry .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He resisted the act ,that day.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
We all went to grammer schools
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I never cut or harmed myself..
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.